My Long Story

If you know me well, you probably know that I'm not a fan of telling long stories or wasting the time to divulge details.  I'm a to-the-point kind of girl and lose all my patience when telling (or listening to) such stories.  But right now we're at a place in our lives and doing things that are getting lots of "What's" and "Why's".  I thought I'd just scribble it all down here so that I don't have to keep repeating myself and so that I can journal this journey for my own growth.  So here goes!

Remember this????

Remember how much we couldn't stop talking about it and how it was the best thing that ever happened to us? Yeah? Well, we're about to put it on the market and sell it. We've been living in it for 3 months and 10 days.

That's the big "What"...now here go the "why's".

Recognize him?  He's my sweet, loving, hard-working, incredibly handsome, funny, best-friend of a husband, Ryan.  He has worked for Verizon Wireless for 10+ years now.  He started out in Columbia but then spent about 8 years in Cool Springs.  We lived in Spring Hill and missed him so much while he was at work or driving on his commute, we thought it would be a great idea to move to Franklin, so we could be close to him!  This way, he wouldn't spend an hour and a half every day on top of work, commuting.  Also, he could come home and have lunch with us on his breaks!  We signed our contract to build our house last April.  Construction started in June.  July 1st, he was unexpectedly transferred to the Columbia store.  Here we are in our new house in Franklin, five minutes from his Cool Springs store and he works an hour away.  That, my friends, is one reason.

Reason number 2 -  Our girls.  When we were justifying the price increase on this home, we threw my Real Estate income into the pile of "excuses".  We have never been dependent upon my income before.  You just never know when your next paycheck is coming and I was always afraid of depending on something so very undependable.  After five very successful years in Real Estate, we chose to purchase a house and start depending on my income for the first time.  I even made crazy excuses in my head like "if the real estate market goes down hill and I need to make money, worse case scenario is, I can get a job and the girls can go to day care".  Which brings me to now...bad real estate market.  I cannot choose this house over being home with my girls.  They are too precious to me.  Soon enough, I will be crying and sending them off to school every day.  I cannot give up these precious moments with them for a house...for stuff.

And although those 2 reasons alone are enough already, I've got two more for you

 Reason number 3 - Our hearts have changed.  Neither Ryan nor I are the same people who signed that contract almost one year ago.  Funny thing is, this heart-change might not have happened if we had not bought this house (I have no regrets!).  Last June, after attending Grace Chapel for four years on-and-off, I bit the bullet and signed up for a small group in Franklin, since we were moving there.  They discussed the second week that we were there that it takes about 18 months for a small group to "click" and to see whether it's going to work or not.  Fast forward seven months later and these strangers are our best friends.

We beat the odds!  God, so obviously, brought seven couples together with so many similarities, sweet children, and a desire for Him.  I went to the women's retreat with some of the girls and my life just changed.  I started looking within myself and seeing all of this excess that was weighing me down (hello, house).  I finally realized that we are created for BIG things!  It was clear to me that I was made to live a life for Jesus.  I was so very intrigued by what it would feel like to actually live how I was created to live.  I mean, it's gotta feel so good, so right!  So I started studying Paul and his ministry, while our pastor started preaching on Jesus and the Beatitudes and the sermon on the mount.  My sweet new friends were seeking the same things.  My family was moving in the same direction.  Ryan was running along right beside me the whole time.  It was as if God had all of us on hold our whole lives and this Fall he brought us together and "activated" us for His purpose.

Ryan and I are on a mission to live the lives we were created for.  We are going to raise up little disciples in Harper & Saylor.  We don't want the real estate income that God blesses us with to pay the bills for more stuff.  We want that extra income to be able to be given.  We want to have the financial freedom to not "need" that money so that we can bless friends who are adopting, friends who are going on mission trips, and amazing charities like Hope Clinic and Brightstone.  We don't want to hoard anymore.  Did you know that 30,000 children around the world die every day of starvation and preventable illness?  We want to be able to sponsor some of these children.  We just want to change our minds, if we can.  We've had a taste of this beautiful dream house and now we want to have a taste of living full and meaningful lives.  That is our heart's desire.

Last but not least....

Missions!  It wasn't until my heart changed that my desire to practice medicine turned into a desire for medical missions.  And funny things is, it wasn't until then that God opened those doors for me!  I'm going on a medical mission trip back to Belize this year over Easter.  I'm studying (prayerfully!) for the MCAT daily and plan to take it in March.  I haven't had a pre-med course...or any school for that matter...in six years.  It is truly miraculous that I am doing as well as I am on my practice tests.  At the rate things are going, by God's grace, I will go to medical school with the sole intention of giving it all back to Him.  I don't know if it means serving full-time and moving to a hut in Belize or doing non-profit work right here in the states.  Since I am completely unworthy of doing this on my own, it will be used for advancing the Kingdom.  It scares me so much yet it excites me every day, God can use "normal" people like me to do big things and I'm putting Him up to the challenge!  I have to pray really hard before I study a physics or organic chemistry chapter and ask God to help me comprehend and retain the information...and He does!  The last time I was intimidated by the current topic of the day, I reminded myself that it's God himself who created this awesome science.  Who better to give me the knowledge than the Creator Himself?

So, will I get into medical school?  I'll wait and see, but I'll do my best and keep praying.  If I do, we won't be settled for a long time.  A piece of me hopes I was wrong all long so that I can just settle and stay here with our family but God never said the life following Him would be easy.  He does promise that it will be fulfilling and he'll hold us through it.

So that's that!  My sweet new bff from small group texted me this lyric from Hillsong's "Mighty to Save" tonight:

"I give my life to follow everything I believe in. I surrender." 

I just love it.  It then brought me to this verse in 2 Corinthians 5:15.  It pretty much sums it up.  

"He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live to please themselves.  Instead, they will live to please Christ, who died and was raised for them."

So here we go.  We're picking up our crosses and following Him.  It's going to be the hardest thing we've ever done.  We're guaranteed to have an enemy fighting against us, but it's worth the fight.